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Here Are The Most Frequently Asked Questions:

So where are you from?

Originally from South America.

Oh, so do you speak Spanish?

No Señor.

That’s disappointing. Where do you hail from now?

Toronto, Canada – where it hails on you.

And what do you do now, other than make failed attempts at humour?

I work in Web Solutions.

That seems terribly uninteresting. Can’t you fudge something up? You’re a writer aren’t you?

I’m a Pirate Captain of the dread-ship Lollipop?

Better.  So what influences you as a writer?

I’m supposed to say “Stephen King” right? He writes things doesn’t he? Oh, oh, I know – J.K. Rowling! Those are respected writers.

Are you just listing the most popular writers of all time because you think that’s what people want to hear?

No!  Yes?

Is this a joke? Am I being set up right now? Did Barry at the office put you up to this?

Will you pay me to admit it?

Um, no?

In that case, I’m going to say I quite enjoy the works of Alan Moore, Jamie Delano, Greg Rucka, Grant Morrison, Garth Ennis and Jim Butcher. I also draw a lot of influence from Eastern cinema, film directors such as Guillermo del Toro and James Cameron as well as the art of H.R. Giger and Moebius.

I see you have quite a collection of Asian cinema and every Godzilla film ever made.

What are you doing in my office?

Is this where you do all of your work?

Primarily yes. I built my own computer so I tend to spend a lot of time at my work station and this is where my writing gets done. Also, don’t touch that.

AH! OMG! That scared the Jesus out of me! 

Oh that’s my cat Beatrix. My wife named her after the main character in Kill Bill.  I think every writer needs a cat. Even better when your cat can write for you.

She can do that?

Yes. But she types in meows.


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